Among my special focuses at Purge SLO—the reason I’m excited to get up in the morning—is for moms and single parents who spend their days in perpetual exhaustion. I am nourished by helping these people reclaim and retain a sense of sanctuary. This is not the glamorous process portrayed on TV. Nor do we wash our hands of our clients after a brief glimpse into their lives.

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Purge SLO is an intensive community investment in sifting hereditary traumas, behavioral deprogramming (and spiritual detox). Moreover, the latest element of our work comes thanks to social media posts making us believe that others are leading perfect, tidy lives in their perfect, tidy homes.

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At Purge SLO, we counsel that keeping a perfect home... is not about keeping a perfect home. It is about managing a natural ebb and flow. The Purge process untangles (1) unfair expectations (2) undue external influence (3) exhaustion and time management challenges, and (4) past trauma. We occupy the role of community support system in a world increasingly bent on putting up walls and going it alone.

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In writing this, I hope to truly convey how it feels to cultivate an enduring relationship with those whose homes and lives we are privileged to enter. As I step foot into a challenged sanctuary, I can quite literally feel the existential weight a client has been unconsciously accumulating. Oppressive, dark corners and soul-sapping heaviness. The closest equivalent should be top-of-mind for anyone who tried to manage productivity and project optimism during the COVID-19 pandemic. Remember that first vaccination? The literal weight coming off the shoulders and the spirit? It was a burden many of us did not even realize we were lugging around.

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I think such weight is with us in layers. One yoke comes off, others remain. Balance is about making time to identify the others still weighing us down. Often, peeling back the layers compromising our health starts in the very place that may not feel like the refuge it should be. Bringing light back into this space is my reason for being.

 

Decluttering is more than unburdening. It is clearing the way for the future. We may find inspiration in spontaneity. But the truth is, this brain between our ears craves a measure of routine and habit. If a river pushes a new path, the water is cloudy at first. Eventually, the river settles, the water clears and nature takes root along new banks. Routine is the brain’s signal that everything is okay—that we are safe. Good routine is the foundation from which chaos can be safely endured.

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I want my clients to take comfort in the fact that a bit of chaos is an unavoidable part of the wild human condition; unwanted routine takes its baby steps in the same footprints as our best habits. My business is about keeping mindful of a simple truth: no matter how out-of-hand things feel, we always retain the power to choose a better way forward. And it will never be too late to take a step in a new direction.